Money

I wrote in my last blog that I totally thought people were only voting for Obama because of their pocket books. I really believe that. I still believe that. I think people voted for Bush for the same reason. I feel exactly the same I did all 8 years of Bush. I feel like I am screaming at the top of my lungs for Nothing. Is anyone listening. For quite a while now I have noticed that people are increasingly becoming if they were not already, more and more materialistic. Our children have to have the next great thing all the time. They have not even taken the new item smell off what they just got when they are already asking for what just took its place. I saw it in myself. Materialism, Relativism. Every two years I was buying a new car. Was there anything wrong with the car I had. NO, I just wanted the newer car. You want to know what opened my eyes. First, I went back to church. I started to give to the church and different charities. I gave my time and food to some charities. I do what I can when I can. I try to put out what I can for the society. Second I started to listen to the Old Time Radio shows. I am amazed at how beautiful it was to live in a society that cared. I know things were bad and it was not perfect but if you listen to the shows they do promote and talk about how society really was in America during WW1 and WW2. It was nice. society really promoted God, church, family, marriage. etc.. the basics. It seems these basic things are no longer considered important.
somewhere, somehow, some one decided that they would find a way to make more money. the way they decided to make this more money was to squeeze every last bit of money out of the poor and middle class. They gave people credit who NEVER should have had credit! NEVER!!! They knew these people could not and cannot pay bills. They no these same people will pay the minimum payments until they die. These same people pushed a bill through Congress to reform bankruptcy. But not for everyone, just for the regular everyday person. If a person owns a company they can still get away with murder. How does that make sense? I know that some people are killing themselves over there dept because they don't know what to do. I feel really sorry for these people. I feel sorry that they could not control themselves in spending and that they fell into despair and ended it all. MONEY is not that important.
My mind is all over the place on this topic. IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!! I get mad that NO ONE in CONGRESS will go against the Credit people. They themselves are scared of the Credit people. They do whatever they want. Are they really running this company?
This really reminds me of the saying, "who every has the most money wins" I am starting to think people really do live by this.
Mean while, People in this country are really suffering. They are without Food, without Jobs, almost without a home. These are basic things.
If Obama really wanted to help society he would help the poor. What does he do, he give the poor "undesirables" FREE ABORTIONS! What the hell is that. I sent him an email telling him that what we need is More People, not less!!! So you know what he did. He put down a thing in the Health Care Bill that says every 5 years the elderly can talk to a DR to get help on "end of life decisions" ie.."euthenasia" If you or anyone ask him about this. he will says it is a lie. Don't believe me. Read the bill. I would not be surprised if the bill says the poor will pay for the health care of the rich. I mean we all are just a bunch of "blue collar" workers. What does he care on his great big white horse name "Planned Parenthood" I do feel like giving up on my heart. On giving up on caring so much for this country. Then I think, God was a founding member of this country. He knows what we give to the rest of the world. He will help us if we ask. Keep the fight up. TEA PARTY

THE ULTRA LIBERAL

original post Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The ultra Liberal papules!
I am just completely amazed! I cannot believe that a country would vote a man who is completely pro-death! I can't believe that so many people only care about MONEY!! Was it change you voted for!!! or was it GREED! I can't see that EVERYONE including Catholics and Christians care so much about how much money they have over what is right! When I think of what the next 4 yrs will bring to such an evil people it makes me sick. I just can't believe it.
I have been voting in every presidenal election since I was 18 yrs old. NEVER have I voted for the president that won. I have never voted for who everyone wanted. I have always voted for who I wanted. EVERY election I am completely discussed and say I will never vote again. I VOTE every time because I believe in the Hispanic VOTE, I believe in the Woman vote, I BELIEVE in the CATHOLIC vote, I believe in the Christian vote. I BELIEVE that all the things that I am, deserve to be heard. Just as I on one hand did vote this year because NEVER have I seen so many American Bishops speak up on what the Catholic vote really is. I have never heard so many Christian speak on what the Christian vote is. I was so happy that Catholic Priest were standing up and telling there congregations this is what we teach this is what we believe. It was beautiful! but most of all when I think of ALL THE CHILDREN the UNBORN and the Elderly that will die under this man's watch. It makes me sick to my stomach.
For a long time I myself did not understand the Abortion issue. I did not know why so many people were so Passionate over this NON-important issue. I prayed and prayed and even argued with people on the issue. Then one day I was driving and said to myself and God. I am not PROLIFE I am ProDEATH!those words came out of my mouth. PRODEATH! then I heard a voice in my mind say "if you are not prolife you are prodeath!" Not I am proCHOICE but PRO-DEATH! I did not like that. I did not like that I was prodeath, nor did I understand why I was. So I began a journey of research. I wanted to know what I was. So I started to look at what happened when a woman CHOOSES to have an Abortion. I found that a "Dr" goes inside the womb of a pregnant woman at any stage in pregnancy {1-9 mths} and basically cutes the baby into pieces and pulls the peaces out. During this time the baby in the womb is trying to get away from the knife. He or She feels pain and suffers!!! Do you understand the Baby in what is suppose to be the safest place in the world through no fault of its own in suffering and being murdered. Not only did I find this out but there is one more type of abortion. "Late term abortion" This is when you have a fully grown baby that can survive outside the womb already 8-9 mths old. the birth the baby just to where it's head sticks out and cut a hole in the head of the baby. Then the harvest the body parts to save living "wanted" children. WHAT IS THAT! In some places if a baby is born at 9 mths and it is deformed or retarded. They will birth the baby and through it in a room or trash can and let it die there. there is just so much more to tell that I have discovered. I just can't and never will say ever that I am pro-choice. PRO-DEATH!!!
Not only does this harm the child but it harms the mother. Almost all women who have abortions live with regret! They become depressed and suicidal! No one talks about this part. No one talks about what happens to the woman after an abortion. Everyone pretends that the woman is just OK and it was a great Choice. I guarantee that all these PRO-Choice Woman have never had an abortion.
Now back to this election. This man that all so many people VOTED FOR!!! is 100% pro death! He has voted in every election for Death with no Limit! He has said that when he comes into power that the first thing he will do is put a bill in for ABORTION WITH NO LIMITS!!! what the HECK IS THAT!!!
I see all these people talking about the economy and change but I don't see that anyone who is talking about it has effected them. Only the media who is pushing all this crap. THE ULTRA LIBERAL, who excepts everyone for anything no matter what. ACCEPTANCE IS NOT good. Acceptance is not saying everything is ok. Everything is not ok and not good. I do not accept everything and I do not hate anyone. I just know that there is right and there is wrong. That is it.
I will leave it here. I accept that we have this president and this ultra liberal democratic government. But when it goes downhill and CRAZY I will not say I told you so. I will just being praying and saying JESUS I TRUST IN YOU!!

my great struggle

original post Tuesday, February 24, 2009

you know I always think of why I don't have children! It really pisses me off sometimes too. When I was younger. I thought I want children but not a husband. I thought men were all bad and did not want anything to do with them. This was my liberal school teachers that taught me how strong and great the woman is without the man. I was so full of you know what!! I knew about sperm banks and that is all there was to it. I looked at men as an item I could have but did not need or want. So then when I got older I realized that children need a mother and father. That is just how it is. I thought about what my life would have been without my dad to guide me. My mother did alot don't get me wrong. But it was the natural family that kept me sane! My mother showed me how to be a woman of God. My father showed me how a strong Hispanic Man run's the home. So I decided I would be with a man but not marry one. I thought, that will take care of the problems of marriage. WRONG!!! it made more problems without the "Promise" of marriage. So now married. It was ok to have children now. A man and a woman to start the Christian family! We did what you do! and NOTHING!!! I kind of thought something was wrong and after 2 yrs of nothing, went to the dr! Now I am going to tell you the fertility DR is not just going to the DR!!!! All you people who say "why don't you go to the fertility DR! It is not an easy trip! It is the most emotional dr visit EVER!!! You go up and down! Your are injecting yourself and being poked and prodded!!! It is very discussing all together! Then when nothing happens or you have side effects!! PAINFULL side effects that no one talks about. Side effects that can kill you! that is a HARD visit. So one day you say to yourself "I am done!" I can't mentally do this anymore. People have a heart about it. you don't know all that I have been through. It is not just "having sex/making love" It is timed sex and not romantic" It is getting a negative pregnancy test! It is very painful. Anywho, so then you turn to adoption! This is actually something I have wanted to do all my life. I have never really wanted to get pregnant. I always saw myself with children but not pregnant. I could care less about the pregnancy. I don't care who says it. It looks so uncomfortable and scary. To have something grow inside of you that has to come out!!! Not my cup of tea. I don't know I was just not born with that in my mind/heart. So we do the adoption stuff. It is all very interesting. You know I think every perspective parent have this great feeling of "saving a child" but when you take the class. You learn. You are not just saving the child, they are saving you. You are not the only one with loss/grief, they are too. You are a parent without a child. They are a child without a parent. My woman urge is to be a mother. I don't know if my clock is ticking. (as they say) but I want a child so bad right now. All I think about is getting a child. getting my home ready for a child. What child I want. In thinking all this. It accured to me. I am not alone I am married. It is not just want I want but what we want. We want a child, we are doing this together. I am not alone on this road. Thank God for my husband. He is so great to me. There is not a man on this earth that could do what he has done for me. He along with God have helped me find Hope on this great struggle of mine. When I see my friends and family that just look at a man and get pregnant. I think they have "the pearl of great value". It is such a treasure. I hate to say that I do envy them this. It is not what they own or what they have. It is only that they so easy produced a child. then even though some of them have this great treasure they don't care. They treat them like an item they own. They care more for themselves and how others look at them then their own child. God gives us a treasure and we are to raise that treasure that truly belongs to him and him alone with great care. I can only image the type of parent I will be. not perfect but I will try to be the best I can be. I look at my parents and think they did the best they could. They did a great job. Anywho. we all have our own crosses. This is mine. I will carry it as far as I have to.

lent retreat

original post Sunday, March 01, 2009

today at my church in Kaufman we had a lent retreat! It was so very wonderful. For a while now I have been praying to the Holy Spirit to help me. I have been quick to anger and frustrated with alot of things that have been going on. So I turned to the Holy Spirit to fill me with his gifts. I did not think he was listening till today.

The father said this weekend was a Lenten retreat. To help us to grow in our spiritual lives. It started yesterday and ended today. I was not able to go yesterday because I took my mother n law to Tyler to get roses. I love roses too so that did not bother me. So I went today. I was only expecting to learn about Jesus in Galalie nothing else. I know that they are starting an English Renew here also but did not put them together. so next thing you know Father Ernie from Devine Mercy in Mesquite walks in. I was so excited. I love Father Ernie. he is the man that brought me back into my Catholic Faith. so I was like WOW.

Anywho, next thing you know we are talking about our baptism and the Holy Spirit and being baptized in the holy Spirit! I knew then the holy spirit brought me here today. He was listening to my and cared about my prayers. So then I think of what I have seen in the past on Baptism in the Holy Spirit. I think I am going to see people speaking in Tongues and fainting all over the place. I was nervous about that because I don't like to cause a seane. So we get started and he told us alot of things and everytime I have been in the presence of the Holy Spirit I always feel him as a wave in the air. That is the only way I can describe him. Anywho, I am feeling the Holy Spirit like crazy. So then father tells us to close our eyes (we are sitting down) and image Jesus in front of us. As he said that I thought of Christ and I saw him sitting in front of me. I saw the outline of his legs and saw his arms. He was looking as me talking to me. I don't know what he said but he looked tired like he had been waiting for me for a long time. so I started to cry out of excitement to see him in front of me and because he looked sad. At that same time Father was naming different images of Christ we have in the Church. it was not what I was seeing. I saw him before me sitting down. It was really sweet. Then as the people went around praying for the Holy Spirit to come upon you. I felt a warmth go from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. then I felt a warmth. I mean really hot on my upper body. It was really something I have never experienced ever! I looked around to see if people were falling all of the place or talking in tongues. Nope, nothing. It was all really sweet and quite. People were crying and it was just beautiful. I feel now really fired up about the Lord. I want to learn more and share the spirit.

Our Lady of Kibeho

I was reading a story on Our Lady of Kibeho. I had never heard of it or knew that it is an approved apparition. I was listening to a lady that survived all that happened in Rwanda. This woman is so happy. You can feel the love of God in her voice. She was talking about how she had been interviewed by many different organizations. Some are Catholic, protestant, and no religion at all. This woman is catholic. She has a great love of Our Lady. In this apparition she calls herself. "Mother of the Word" I thought that was so great. In the bible the Christ always calls himself "the word made flesh"

anywho, the woman says that everytime she is interviewed she tells them straight up that what got her through was that she prayed the Rosary all the time. She said at times she questioned if there was a God. She said a prayer and it was answered almost right then. Her story is very inspiring. She said that Our Lady ask that she be known as the Mother of Christ. I was thinking. All that she went through in her life having Jesus as a son. Just for us now to disrespect her. To denied her what she deserves. The bible even says that she deserves to be seen as special. It says "all generations will call you blessed" It does not say that about any other woman. Just her. She was with Christ when he was born and at his crucifixion. I would think that she deserves a special place in our lives. So if she is asking us to repent and follow her son then I think we should do it. Anywho, I will be buying the book by Immaculy.

If you died today would you choose Heaven or Hell?

I was thinking today that God has given us all free will. Most people think of free will in life. I know most people have heard of the Devine Mercy of our Lord. Like that song say Our God is an Assume God! He wants all souls to go to him. I was reading about St Catherine. She was talking to God and he told her that even in death we choose to go to Heaven or Hell. St Catherine did not and could not believe that any soul would want to be without God. So God gives her a soul to bring into heaven. The soul has never known love and is place in the very center of Heaven. The soul cries out to God that why is being tortured. So then St Catherine takes the soul and places it nowhere. It is neither in heaven or hell. The soul cries out again to God. Why do you let this stupid woman play with me. Send me to hell where I belong. So then God takes the soul back to Hell. I know I have told this story before. It is a good story to meditate on. I thought about it for a long time. If you believe in the stories of the saints or not. This is still a good story to meditate on. Why would any soul want to go to Hell? I think allot of the time we as people don't even want to believe in the Devil, Hell or even Evil. We try not even to think that we or any one we know will die. We all will go down this path. We all came in this world alone and we will leave alone. It is a scary thought. My mother in law is Baptist and said that she used to worry allot about this. but once she was baptized that calmed her fears. I on the other hand was already baptized and confirmed and was crazy scared of death all together. I know it was my conscience. I had not been to confession and was living a life of sin. It had to be a grace from God to see that I was living this way because otherwise the world told me that I was a "Good" person. That is what the world calls good. It was not until I went back to church. Not just going to church on Sunday but living a worldly life. But really living my faith!!! My Catholic Faith. Well, I prayed and prayed about my fear of death. I was having panic attacks and not sleeping. It was really bad!! Then one day! I was driving home and God told me this. Not like I heard a voice out loud or he sat next to me and I saw him. This happened in my mind as I was driving.God said to me. "Angie, before you came back to me. If you had died would you have choose Heaven or Hell?" I know God granted me the grace to think of how I was, how I thought, just the person I was. I remembered thinking. "when you die and go to heaven, all you will do is pray and worship God 24/7" I remember I thought, "how boring is that?" "I don't want to JUST pray and Worship GOD!" I thought "I would be bored to death doing that" I really did think that. Then I thought, then, the person I was, would not be able to look God in the face and be with him. he would be in his Glory with Grace abundantly and an unfathomable about of Love. I would fall so short from him that I would tell him that I was not worthy to be in his presence. So I would have choose HELL!!! Can you believe that!!!Can you believe that me, at that time thought I was so a GOOD person!!! (according to the world) I was so opposite of God but the world called me good. If you could smell my soul, it might have smelled like writing flesh. So God showed me that, then, I would have gone to Hell. Not because He wanted me to go to Hell but because I would have choose it!!! That scared me. It scared me because it was not until I turned 30 by way of my sisters confirmation! that I was brought back into the church. It was with LOTS of PRAYER, GRACE and LOVE, that our dear Lord brought me home to his fold.Now, I am in the know! God has enlighten my mind. He teaches me all the time. On the radio, TV, books, and in life. You know the bible says, "To whom much is given, much is expected" So, God is not just asking the people who have money to give money. He is asking those know his word, his teaching and love to spread this wealth of knowledge to others. So now I am comforted that I have a better chance of going to heaven. I can give myself the same test the Lord gave me. Now, today if I would die and all I would do in Heaven is pray and worship God forever! I would Love it. I feel a love inside of me at the thought! I feel a love inside of me like a fire. I fire that is so strong, that my soul wants to leap out of my body and join it's creator! Now I have a job though. I am not the sinner who waits till the last min. to ask for forgiveness. I already asked and now the Lord tells me I have a mission. I don't exactly know what it is, but even if it is only that I pray. Then I hope the Holy Spirit helps me to complete this to the best of his ability through me.....
You can take the Heaven or Hell test. Ask yourself. If you died today would you want to praise and worship God forever? Ask yourself honestly? What do you do now with your time? You will be the same soul just outside of your body. So if now you are not interested in God or Church then when you die it will be no different. If you find yourself like I was. Then you still have time to change. Open you heart to Jesus. Ask him to come into your heart and help you be the person he wants. Remember, As Mother Angelica says. "if you go to Hell, you have to look at the devils ugly face forever!!!"....
Oh, father Ernie told me this the other day in a class. it says in the Catechism of the Catholic church. That when God returns at the end of time it will be on Easter. I have to read it again. But it is very interest and it makes allot of sense.

my angel :)

I was at work the other day and it was lunch time. I only brought a sandwich. So in my mind I prayed. "Lord I only brought a sandwich, if you will that I have some chips, just let me know." I did not think anything else of it. I went to the brake room to get some ice. when I got there the candy man I just left and put some chips out that were not saleing. So I remembered my prayer and started to laugh. I laughed because I though thank you Lord. then I looked a the chips and there were Pork rinds with hot sauce on them. I then said, "Lord, thank you very much for the chips but I really don't like these. but I will eat them because you gave them to me" So I laughed again and said next time I pray I will be specific. well, then today I am cleaning the windows on my sliding doors. I don't like bugs. this great big moth looking cricket was at the top of the window. so I asked my gaurdian angel to move the bug so I could clean that part of the window. So I moved on to another part of the window. So then that same freaking bug pops me on the neck and lands on the part of the window I was just finished cleaning. I told my angel, thanks for moving it but I did not want it to touch me. Gross. Just wanted to tell you some little things that happen. Now if I were not paying attn I would never have seen or received the graces I would have never realized that it happened. All of this just made me think. How many of us really talk to God or to our Gaurdian angel's. I was watching Mother Angelica and she was talking about Angel's. One story they said was one lady's son was stranded on a deserted road. At that very moment his moment his mom was praying that if her son was in need of help to send someone. just send someone. At that very moment a man pulled up behind him in a tow truck. So he tows them to the friends house. they go inside to get some money to pay the driver. the family is like, what driver? the kids turned around and the tow truck was gone. one of them went to see if there was tracks in the snow. nothing was there. another story...a guy told mother that he did not believe in gaurden angels. So mother tells him that is ashamed one day you will believe. so he come back to see her when he comes back home from college again. He tells her one day he was waiting to get on a bus and sees a man standing next to him. He was not doing anything but looked strange. So he gets on the bus and the man sits right next to him. Then he looks around the bus and everyone has a person all to themselves. He looks outside and it is the same. He see's a wine-o on the side of the road. Next to him is his angel with his arm around the man patting him on the shoulder. I thought how sad that these angels are always with us and we don't pay attn to them. We don't talk to them or pray for them to God.Last story a lady calls in and says that she has 4 children that are teen's. She says when they were young the named all of there angels. well, now that the are teens they don't listen so well. So when it is getting late or past there bedtime. She will send her gaurdian angel to get her childrens angels to get them home in 15 mins. So each time they would get home in that time. so you see when you worry about your children just send you angel to getch or consoul the person ou are worried for.Always remember the world we live in is full of disorder, but there is always order when it comes to god. Remeber always that Jesus loves you

Women and Sex

after years of hard work and suffering. Women have degraded themselves. Everywhere you look women are dressing like prostitutes. WHY! Does a women think that she is only worth what she looks like. Youth fades with time. What is the point of looking good. I mean I am not saying that we should look like crap but we can look nice without looking like a prostitute. Women are more then a body and a face. We are strong and soft at the same time. We work at jobs then come home and work at the house. Life is created within us. A man is part of this but the majority of the work happens in us. why look at a pregnant woman as a fetal carrier or as burdened by a child. The child has no fault in a pregnancy. the child did not ask the mother or father to have sex. The Women on her own CHOOSE to open her legs. God created sex for procreation. It is a beautiful thing in marriage. I say this because I KNOW!!!! When you meet a man that you really love. The man that God set aside for you. Your heart will tear in pain if you did not save that special gift of virginity for him. A person (man or woman) saves themselves for marriage is not missing anything. I grew up in a time that say "I am woman, hear me roar!" "A woman can do anything a man can do" The problem with this is my examples of men, where not good. They were men who slept around and were evil. So if I was going to be like a man it was that way. In the end I felt empty and alone. SEX does not make you a better person. It does give you a FAKE feeling of "love". Love is not SEX! Love is God and God is Love. Sex is a part of marriage and only in Marriage does it have the beauty that God created it for. A women or man that lives in God has peace and love. Every person will get older and have wrinkles and/or freckles and what ever else the Lord gives you. There is beauty in ever age. I will tell you that I have yet to see a person with a face lift that looks normal or good. Will you be the old person with a stretched face and a wrinkled body. We need to raise our children to respect there bodies. We are letting the media raise them. They are growing up with twisted minds. We as parents, aunts, uncles etc need to show by example the great thing of chastity and sex in marriage. As your schools what they are teaching on sex, chastity, and being gay. You will be surprised what you hear. Remember people are always looking for teachers who will tickle there ears. Will you let the evil ones teach them or will it be YOU?

The day before thanksgiving

now I am thinking I am addicted to alka selser! I know I mispelled that! Anyways, it is like every night before I go to bed I want one. I almost think I like the taste. I have to go to my brothers tomarrow! I was just bringing mashed potato's but someone else is bringing that! So now I am have to bake. I wouldn't mind but It is a strange time and our stove is not working. I usually go crazy and bake like crazy. I love to bake. I have ten thousand recipes! I love it! The oven and I are close friends. You want something to eat I got you covered in the oven. I did not even notice how much I used it. I am also waiting for my house to sale! It has been on the market forever but I am feeling like it is about to sale. Or at least I am being hopefull. It is the end of the year and I really don't think people purchase at the end of the year! Sucks for me! Anywho, excited about leaving work early don't really no what I am goign to do when I get off. I am thinking I am going to go to my mother or home. Can't make up my mind. Got to go.

Once Saved always saved/bible only

I am really worried about a Baptist friend of mine. I am Catholic and don't really bother people about what ever religion they are in. In fact my husbands family is Baptist and we were married in a Baptist church. I am very aware of the difference in the two religion but also know that there are allot of God loving Christians in both. (every religion has a bad apple).
anyways, a friend of my husband has just discover the lord in the Baptist Church. He is head over heals in love with the lord and the church. Currently he is teaching a class at church to the children and has met a girl at church and is considering marriage. Anyways the other night he (the friend) was telling my husband that if he were to commit suicide now that he is baptized that he would go to heaven. My husband (who is also Baptist) told him that is not true and he needs to talk to his pastor about that. He insisted that once you are saved you can do anything and go to heaven because you are coated in the Blood of Christ.
Now just as a person I think that suicide is wrong no matter what religion you are in! I truly believe along with my husband that the only person that can take a life is one who gave it to you. Which is GOD! Is my husband misguided or what? I don't know what to do. I do admire the fact that the said he is going to quit cold turkey drugs, alcohol and smoking! I admire people who go out of there way for our Lord. Anyways let me know.